Think Bruno Mars’ “Marry You” is romantic? Think again. (Special to Juice)
If you go to a lot of weddings, you’ll hear the same songs over and over again. But some stand out as being kind of odd picks for a romantic ceremony. Here are five songs that sound romantic, but they really aren’t. Tell your DJ to cross them off the reception playlist.
“I Will Always Love You,” Dolly Parton or Whitney Houston: This is a great love song, but it’s not about a romance that ends well. “If I should stay I would only be in your way,” “Bittersweet memories, that is all I’m taking with me,” “I hope you have all you’ve dreamed of and I wish you joy and happiness.” This song is basically one big “I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
“Every Breath You Take,” The Police: It’s pretty well-known at this point that this isn’t a love song, it’s a creepy stalking song. Sting has gone on record that it’s “sinister and ugly” and that people have misinterpreted it as a love song. Despite all this, it still gets played.
“Marry You,” Bruno Mars: This song feels like it was made for getting played at weddings, but if you pay attention to the lyrics it seems like this marriage might be troubled. “Who cares if we’re trashed,” “We’re looking for something dumb to do,” “If we wake up and you wanna break up, that’s cool.” How romantic.
“Maggie May,” Rod Stewart: It sounds sweet and innocent enough, but Rod’s relationship with Maggie is a little weird. The lyrics tell the story of a student (let’s pretend it’s college to negate the creepiness a bit) who is lured away from home by an older woman who was seemingly in some kind of power position (”All I need was a friend to lend a guiding hand, but you turned into a lover …”). It’s basically Mary Kay Letourneau.